Before coming to the UK alone to do my Masters, I never thought I would one day have the need to actively socialise. I am not one to make friends and I appreciate that I will have one or two close and dear friends at each stage of my life, but I really don’t have many. I have always believed that human connection should be a naturally occurring unintentional act. People are attracted to people who are similar to them and a willingness to trust and share naturally arises. However, after I really realised that I was going to a completely foreign environment where there were no parents or friends of mine and I seemed to have no connection point with it, I started to feel fear and panic.
What was I afraid of? I was afraid that I wouldn’t be able to adapt well enough to live in a different culture. . I was afraid that I would have no friends, that I would have no one to help me when I was in trouble, that I would have no one to share my joys with. Further, I would be sad if I didn’t feel loved and belonged.
So, before I left, I actively joined various WeChat groups related to UAL and the UK. Not only that, but through one group chat, people with the same interests or from the same city created other group chats and the community seemed to build up. People share and communicate in the group, helping each other and reducing each other’s anxieties and worries. It is a community that exists by choice, a community that is designed and built consciously and unconsciously (Ezio, 2019). Although not every group chat can be called a community, and some might only be called online groups, it was in that moment that I truly experienced that Human beings are a social species. We can gain strength from crowds, and the lack of social links can make us feel alone. I began to to face my social needs.
“We have an intense need for social connection throughout our entire lives.” — Matthew D. Lieberman
Moving to a new city is a great opportunity to learn, grow and get out of your comfort zone. It’s a great way to experience a new culture and make new friends. But there are also huge challenges: social isolation and loneliness. So I couldn’t help but wonder:
How to build social connection in a new environment?
What community could bring to us? How to find a community？
Digital is more important than at any previous moment
On the one hand: in the past we were concerned that the construction of virtual identities, brought about by the development of the Internet, was disconnecting people from reality and making them more isolated. Making human relationships even weaker
On the other hand: social networks, on the other hand, offer another possibility of connection, which is more equal and simpler, hedging against the social laws that make us feel complex and realistic.
We have not abandoned our connections with each other because of the physical barriers of the epidemic. The appropriate distance created by online socialising has instead made human interaction more natural and proactive, invisibly letting go of psychological defences against each other.
The desire and power to connection
Social Connection and Well-Being during COVID-19 reported an increase in life satisfaction and perceived social relevance.Researchers have identified a number of factors that may contribute to individual differences in global well-being and social connections, for example looking for COVID-19-related information found that people experiencing information flow, using social media, and living with a partner during an influenza pandemic have positive psychological traits such as gratitude or resilience.
“The human desire for social connection is positive and should be used well”
— Matthew D.Liebeman
Reference
Lieberman, MD 2013, Social : Why Our Brains Are Wired to Connect, First Paperback Edition., Broadway Books, New York.
Manzini, E & Coad, RA 2019, Politics of the everyday , First edition., Bloomsbury Visual Arts, London, doi: 10.5040/9781350053687.
